4th of July, Part I: Carnies!!

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Temperature: -30F
Wind Chill: -64F

The fourth of July was a big production here, seemingly bigger than Midwinter. The Science Support Center (SSC, for all you TLA lovers, and haters) was transformed into an indoor carnival. You had to buy tickets to get food like corn dogs or funnel cake, play games like "Giant Craps" or "Server's Challenge", throw softballs at the dunk tank or win raffle prizes. And what carnival is complete without CARNIES!!!

Our brightly colored circus folk for the evening were Genevieve, Meghan, Liz, and Jolene, with Sal as their pimp, er, I mean, Ringleader. Nice cape, Sal.

I was thoroughly impressed by the sheer number of activities that were provided. Most were hosted by individuals or departments. The IT department set up a NASCAR racing game with four networked computers, so you could race your buddies as if you were in an arcade. A dartboard challenge required hitting a dollar bill from three distances with four total darts (I won two dollars there, hazaa!). Several people took turns being dunked in the dunk tank. Here's Keith waiting patiently for a douse:

I've often wondered how strange novelties like this get to Antarctica, but I'm finally realizing that ninety-five percent of them are made right here by locals using scrapped materials.

The "Server's Challenge" had contestants running an obstacle course with a tray of cups filled to the rim; many of the runners got wet. The fire department hosted "Giant Craps," which required you to huck 3-foot dice into a corner. Here's one of the Carnies getting her luck up:

Two tickets got you an ice cream cone from the Kiwis, who stock the real thing instead of our sub-par bulk custard. A couple local scribblers were drawing pretty impressive temporary tattoos:

The event with the most spectators, though, was "Human Jenga." This involved building your own Jenga tower out of wooden crates. The catch: you have stand on top of the tower and climb as you build. Check out Dave; one more block and Deneen will have to start tossing up the crates:

Ten crates was the limit, and let me tell you, just like Jenga, that tower gets mighty wobbly when it gets that tall. Here's Joe with one more to go:

I think most of the people that tried made it, but that luck just didn't hold for the Carnies:

In their defense, I'd say it's highly probable that their sense of balance was especially impaired. But not to worry, everyone was harnessed into a belaying rig, so the only thing that fell was the tower.

There were two roasted pigs to go along with country fair-style sides like baked beans, slaw and corn dogs. There was a chili cook-off with various styles of spicy concoctions boiling atop Coleman stoves. And to cap it all off in true carnival fashion, Tom cooked me an incredibly tasty funnel cake, complete with powdered sugar and greasy paper plate!

Eventually the booths were closed and the tickets collected so the auction could begin. Talk about an insight into this culture; silly penguin knickknacks, "fart in a can", fancy soap (which you can't get here), a Tucker ride around Castle Rock Loop, a handmade knit hat, a handmade knit banana hammock (no joke!), two custom pizzas from Shane the cook, several DA shifts (apparently, some folks will pay over $100 to get out of dish duty), and the big ticket item at $140: a blackened open-end wrench billed as the only survivor of the Smurf Shack fire. I should have offered up a roll of the three-ply TP Bamma sent down after mainbody; that stuff probably has more buying power than actual currency here. . . hmmm.

I'm told that in years past, the ticket sales and auction earnings were donated to charity, but apparently it is no longer legal to collect money for charity in a federal workplace. Instead nearly $2000 was raffled off to the festival-goers as monetary prizes; the big winner took home $900. Nice work Uncle Sam, you jackass.