Reduced to This

Current Conditions
Temperature: 6F
Wind Chill: -9F

This is it. My life has been reduced to inane email banter, which I'm going to shamelessly force upon the world (of faithful briantarctica readers).

On community contributions:
Jen: Good morning,
I’m starting on the mid-season evals today. Can you send me your community activities & volunteering info?
Cheers,
Jen
Brian: library volunteer
often help setup/teardown at live music events
occasional tours of arrival heights
occasional cleaning of lounge messes
other than that, I'm pretty much a bum. actually, can you spare any change? I'll be honest, I'm going to spend it on alcohol, not food.
Jen: Are you going to share?
Brian: only with fellow bums, but I can get you an application.
Jen: I don’t think that I can hold a pen right now. Can I slobber my answers on the app?
Brian: yeah, it's just the back of a 40 label, anyway.
Jen: Cool. I’ll just peel it off the one I have here. It’s already got drool on it.
Brian: great, you're in. now start, er, continue bumming.
Jen: gurgle
Brian: retch
Jen: What did you call me?!
Brian: hiccup

Jen is the Science Support Lead for the winter. We share a large building and have a great rapport. And tend to be sarcastic whenever possible.

On computer viruses:
Jen: But how do [Trojans] work? They must be hitchhikers…
Brian: I think they hide inside a large wooden rabbit.
Jen: Thank you for the enlightenment.
Brian: glad I can enlighten, even when I don't know what I'm talking about!
Jen: Hey, hey – don’t be throwing disillusionment in with enlightenment!
Brian: please, please: no 5 syllable words until after lunch.
Jen: I beg your pardon.
Brian: I said: NO FIVE SYLLABLE WORDS UNTIL AFTER LUNCH.
Jen: $%#&!
Brian: @#$%!
Jen: #%&$
Brian: ok ok. you win.
Jen: $%&#
Brian: gol-ly
Jen: You definitely win.
Whoops – sorry about the syllables.
Brian: no, no, you're good. it'd be hard to get far in this world without 5 syllable sentences.
Jen: What the $%#@ do you mean “5 syllable sentences”??? You said words earlier
Brian: I'm confused. I said words and I meant words. so why are you sorry for "you definitely win"?
Jen: Because I thought you were being ridiculous when you said “I said: NO FIVE SYLLABLE WORDS UNTIL AFTER LUNCH” earlier.
Brian: I thought you couldn't hear me when you said "beg your pardon".
Jen: I can’t hear you at all. You’re across the building, so you’re going to have to shout a little louder.

At this point I start shouting down the hallway, to no avail.

On editing shared files:
Brian: you know, Jen, it's just like you to open up the LAS and the SitRep so no one else can access them and then leave the building, denying us the satisfaction of complaining to your face.
Jen: Well, yes. What's the problem? I thought it a rather good plan.
Brian: you got me. I checked to see if the LAS was unlocked. its not. thanks. jerk.
Jen: I don't have the LAS open! I haven't all day!
Jen: Oh shit. I did have it open. I'm really sorry. I looked earlier and didn't think that I did.
Brian: no worries, I'm just giving you shit cuz I know you can take it.
Jen: Who told you that? And in what context?
Brian: hot karl told me. I think the context had something to do with cleveland steamers, or maybe it was glass bottomed boats. definitely some sort of shit, I mean, ship.

If you don't get these references, trust me, you don't want to know.

On redundancy:
Jen: Hi,
Does anyone want me to forward these [meeting minutes] to them?
Cheers,
Jen
Brian: that would be great. could you add both my accounts: mcm.ra and brian.nelson? that way I'll get two copies from Cara AND two copies from you. FOUR copies. wonderful, I feel so loved!
Jen: Yep. I’ll ask anyone else who wants them down here to forward them to you, too.
Brian: thank you so much.
Jen: I’m here for you, buddy.
Brian: ...so loved.
Jen: Yep. And so loving.
Brian: don't forget cynical!
Jen: No, no – it’s “waxing lyrical” – very easy to confuse with “cynical”
Brian: yes, a good lyrical waxing does wonders to assuage the cynicism.

Oh, yeah, there's more. A group of Penguins fans (and one crazy Canuck who cheers for Detroit) has been watching the Stanley Cup games.

On hockey:
Brody: Game 5, Hut 10, 8pm
You know the routine. Be there! It could be the last game :-(
Brian: casey and I are planning to play racquetball beforehand, so if we're a little late, go ahead and start without us. we'll get there!
Kish: what the #$*&% #%@ man....%&$ ahhhhhhh....you can't miss anything from tonight .... this is it ... the last stand....
Hockey night in antarctica....AHHHHHHH
what the #%*$
&%#$
#%$
&%*$
#$%&.
alright see you there....
Brian: wait a minute... who was late last time?
you forgot:
d'oh
darn it
gosh
gee whiz
Casey: I think you also forgot golly, jinkies and wowsers.
Deneen: SHNIKIES!!!
RATS!
UCK YAK!

I don't know what it means, but I love "uck yak!"